I know I haven't posted in a while, but well, life! So what's prompted me to post tonight? The overnight passing of a truly inspirational woman - Maya Angelou.
Maya Angelou (1928-2014)
No words I could write would do this lady justice so all I will say is this...
Do yourself a favour and google Maya Angelou and her quotes and you will see just what a loss to society her death is. Personally, I love her quotes, there are so many that strike a chord. My absolute favourite is below - I know it by heart and I have a framed copy on my desk at work which I look at every day.
Thank you Maya Angelou, and may you rest in peace.
It is a sad fact that bullying and mental illness only ever get a showing in the media when something dreadful happens. When someone dies. Surely I’m not the only person who thinks that’s kinda fucked up wrong. Bullying and mental illness shouldn’t only be trotted out when someone dies as a result of them. They need to be discussed openly and people educated about them on a regular basis.
I’ve previously touched on being bullied when I was younger and the effect that had on me. Still has on me. Yes, it still messes with me. I still have dreadful bouts of depression and anxiety and have only recently acknowledged that sadly, it is here to stay. I maybe a 6 foot 1, 47 year old man but I still have days where I think there is only one way out. Thankfully they aren’t too regular and I can now recognise what they are and how to get myself through them. The battle never truly goes away though. There are days where I simply can’t function, when doing the morning routine (breakfast, shower, etc) is almost impossible, let alone leaving the house and negotiating traffic and work. And life. On the bad days I don’t make it to work and end up taking the day off with no pay. No pay – because that is easier than confessing that I’m one of those people with a mental illness. See, that there is the stigma that I’m talking about.
When we only highlight bullying and mental illness when people die, we feed the stigma that already exists. As a society we should be destigmatising bullying and mental illness. Without the stigma, maybe more people would seek and receive help, and hopefully not as many would die. Education is the key so people start to understand the toll that bullying and mental illness can have.
EDIT: Speaking of education, I encourage you to read this blog post by a fellow blogger Sandra. She has captured what is for me, the essence of depression (and is quite similar to how it affects me and many others).
I'm not looking for sympathy, just sharing my story and hopefully reducing the stigma associated with mental illness and bullying.
Lastly, please be kind to others, and spare a thought for victims of bullying and those with mental illness. They don’t want your pity, they want your understanding.
G. xx
If you need to talk to someone, please contact Lifeline: 13 11 14.
Way back here I mentioned how I was a big brave boy and went on a long train ride and how it was out of character because daahling, I don't do public transport! Well these days I semi-regularly catch the train to work and love the fact that on those days I'm not fighting with peak hour traffic and then hunting for, or paying ridiculous amounts for parking. But I digress.
Being the adventurous soul that I am, yesterday I availed myself to another new transport experience. I caught a bus to work! There is a bus stop two minutes walk from home and I've never used it so I thought why not (oh ok, so I was running late and wasn't going to make it to the train station on time). All I can say is WOW.
The first thing I noticed was that the bus was less than half full and at least half of the passengers were elderly. Perfect, I thought, no problems there. So then the bus set off. Well, Mr Bus-driver must have thought he was Sandra Bullock from the movie Speed. He had the bus lurching full blast from stop to stop and flying around corners like it would explode if he slowed down.
At this point I should point out that I had positioned myself in the second last seat at the back of the bus. This raised seat provided a clear view of the entire bus so I could be the weirdo bus monitor people watch. That brings me to the people. Along the way all manner of people boarded and alighted the bus but four parties made an impression shall we say. First up was a lovely elderly couple. The man wandered up the aisle of the bus while his wife paid the driver but he stood in the aisle until she joined him and waited until she was seated before sitting next to her and then minding her bag for her - it was lovely.
Next up were two young mums (seriously, they were kids themselves) each with a young child. One child was well behaved and sat with her mum, whereas the other one was, in a word, feral. This child's mother alternated between a loud phone conversation about her drinking plans for the weekend and screaming at the top of her lungs "Jayden get back 'ere 'n' siddown or I'm gunna belt ya".
Next to board were two of the most gorgeous people I've seen in a while. A young stylish 20-something couple who were clearly besotted with each other. They sat on the back seat of the bus on the opposite side of the bus to me. And then they spoke. In fluent French. I lurve all things French and although I had no idea what they were saying it was delightful just hearing their chatter. The bus suddenly seemed to go up-market.
Lastly, a couple boarded who appeared to be in their thirties. They slowly wandered to the back of the bus and sat right behind me. They both needed a good bath and she was clearly off her chops on something and was basically zombie. Whatever he had taken had him buzzing at 200 miles an hour. Then he started to talk to her. The (one sided) conversation went something like this. "Babe, babe, I'm gonna go and be like all over him. He shouldn't do that to ya. I'm gonna beat the fuck out of him. I'm gonna fuck him up and I don't care if I go back to prison for it." Again my eyes were like dinner plates as I nervously listened. I got off the bus a stop earlier than my stop just to get away from them! After regaling this story at work, colleagues informed me that right near the bus stop where this couple boarded is a methadone clinic. Explained a lot really.
All in all it was an enlightening bus adventure, and I'm not sure when (if) I will do it again.
A couple of things I'm greatful for:
Sunglasses - at least the crazies passengers couldn't see that my eyes were like dinner plates as I stared on. My open mouth probably gave it away though (maybe not, maybe they just thought I "fitted in").
Ipod and earbuds - you can pretend to listen to music while eavesdropping on all kinds of crazy. It also means they won't try to talk to you.
Do you have any public transport tales you'd like to share? Please do, I'd love to hear about them.
I'm now on holidays for two weeks (yes I had to say that) and the lovely Wayne had today off so we went on an expedition to get the last of our Christmas shopping done. We may have also popped into a fave café for a quick brunch too. But I digress.
On the way home from our expedition we stopped at a local servo (petrol station) to refuel. This is where we encountered that stupid bitch at the servothe idiot. As I walked to the side of the car, a woman pulled up at the bowser next to us with the window down talking on her mobile phone and smoking a ciggie. I was absolutely gobsmacked and she was clearly oblivious to the dangers. Well me being the shy retiring type that I am, I promptly walked towards her open window, said "Excuse me", then followed with "fuck off out there (pointing to the road), because I don't want to die today"! She muttered something at me then drove off. Did I overreact? Maybe. Either way, the lovely Wayne thought it was funny that I politely said excuse me, then told her to fuck off - what can I say, clearly I have good manners!
What is it about this time of the year that turns people into complete dick heads? Anyhoo, that's the end of my rant. Have you had any 'Christmas experiences' you'd like to share?
Apologies up front if this post offends as I don't wish to come across as rude when I'm about to do the whole finger waving and hands on hips thing about rudeness.
Okay some background. The lovely Wayne and I have been on holidays this week. We tend to have holidays that DON'T coincide with school holidays so that we avoid the crowds and all that that brings. This week was no different as the school holidays had just ended. We spent a lovely few days away at Nelson Bay in Port Stephens where we did all kinds of holiday stuff like eating and drinking. Oh yes, we also went for walks and did some touristy sight-seeing stuff. One of the touristy things we did was a boat trip from Nelson Bay to Tea Gardens with lunch at the Tea Gardens pub (opposite the Myall River), then the return boat trip back to Nelson Bay. All in all it was a lovely day and we spoke to some lovely and friendly people. We even saw dolphins swimming close to the boat. But I digress.
For a change, the lovely Wayne and I were two of the younger passengers on the boat (there was a family of 7 that were younger than us!). Now I am not ageist, truly. That being said, the remaining 60 passengers on the boat were elderly people mature Australians. Now I have always had the utmost respect for elderly people mature Australians and would be mortified if anyone treated my parents other than with great respect, BUT, a couple of the elderly people mature Australians on the boat were incredibly rude. Now I'm no manners nazi, but it really irked me that these people could be so rude. For example, when lining up to board the boat at Nelson Bay everyone was in an orderly queue on the jetty when this rude elderly couple mature Australian couple just pushed in front of the lovely Wayne and I. If that wasn't enough, they did the same thing at the pub to order lunch and again to board the boat for the return trip. And these were just the examples that we saw.
Now my mum instilled in me from a very young age to respect your elders and always offer them your seat etc, and I indeed do. But seriously, this elderly couple mature Australian couple were just plain rude. Everyone else was chatty and friendly on the boat and they just ignored everyone. I guess it just pissed me off as I know that my late grandparents would have sooner walked to the moon than be like that. I think the thing that 'did it' for me was that here was this pair being total a-holes when there was a young family (mum, dad, and 5 kids under 12) in which the 5 children were amongst the loveliest, most courteous, well behaved children you could meet.
Am I being too harsh? Were they just having a bad day? Who knows. We didn't let them spoil our day, and in hindsight I guess I feel sad for them.
What are your thoughts on rude elderly people mature Australians? Or even rude people in general.
G. xx
PS - no elderly people mature Australians were harmed in the writing of this post.
PPS - most elderly people mature Australians are awesome!
This afternoon the lovely Wayne and I had our annual check-up with our doctor. Yes I'm aware that this is such an 'old people' kinda thing to do - the his and his check-up! Thankfully all was well, however Dr P said that now that we are middle aged (puhlease!), we should both lose a little weight and increase our (nearly non existent) exercise. He also said we should cut down on the booze and extravagant lifestyle! Now I have been doing Weight Watchers as I've discussed previously but I haven't been sticking to it as rigorously of late. Ok, I may have gained a little, but I'm still lighter than I was!
Anyhoo, as we were walking back to the car (see, exercise) I remarked to the lovely Wayne that Dr P had basically told us we were old, fat and lazy! We were both agog for a minute at that realisation. What did we do? The only sensible thing of course, we jumped in the car and headed for a fave restaurant for a scrumptious meal washed down of course with a nice bottle of red! Our new lives will start tomorrow I'm sure!
This week there have been a few What if... moments for me. You know, those moments that make you think. Those moments that make you contemplate how different things could be, or could have been. This latter one is one I'm not comfortable with as I firmly believe in looking forward, and only looking back to learn, not to dwell. But alas, I have dwelled a little this week on a couple of occasions, but I did make sure I learnt something each time. This is how it went...
On Monday I received a letter in the mail advising that my drivers license was overdue. I was genuinely surprised by this. I have a 5 year licence and as it's something I never look at I take it for granted that I'll get the renewal letter when needed and will renew it accordingly (like many others I'm sure). Well guess what - the renewal went missing in the mail and I never received it. So I've been blissfully unaware that I've been driving unlicensed for over 3 weeks! Needless to say this was rectified first thing Tuesday morning, but it made me think what if I'd had an accident - my insurance would be void as I was technically unlicensed! This opened up a can of worms (in my head). Suffice to say I did learn something when looking back - check your bloody license every so often!
Tuesday morning dawned with the news of the Boston Marathon bombings and all the ensuing horrors, grief and dare I say, the mis-reporting and sensationalism in the media. My heart truly goes out to the innocent victims and their families. I personally struggle a bit with how appalled I am with humanity for such a cruel act, but how on the other hand how amazing humanity is in supporting and helping each other. It really is a knife edge sometimes. All of this made me (rather selfishly) think what if my parents were there - they will be in a month. How would I feel? How would I cope? And then, how are the people there now coping? What did I learn? Not so much a learning, but a reminder. Tell your nearest and dearest that you love them. Often!
And then it was Wednesday. Dare I utter these words: Go New Zealand! No longer will I join my fellow Aussies to laugh at jokes about our kiwi neighbours as they are truly showing the way. In case you missed it, yesterday New Zealand legalised same sex marriage. I'm so happy for all the same sex couples in New Zealand who will now be able to legally marry and enjoy the legal rights that that brings. I just wish Australia would get its shiz together and do the same. So this great news made me think what if Australia legalised same sex marriage and the lovely Wayne and I could get married. Would we even get married after all this time? If so, how? What? When? Where? My ever restless mind went off in all directions with this one! So what did I learn from this (even though I wasn't actually looking back)? I learnt to not lose hope. Maybe, just maybe, I will be able to marry my man in my own country one day!
A few days ago a lovely comment was left on my Year in Review post by Emily of Have A Laugh On Me (you need to check her blog out, seriously) in which she stated "...the love you have for Wayne is evident by how you write. It made me realise
that maybe I need to smarten up a bit and pay more attention to my loved one, I
tend to take him for granted and I know life is way to short for that!" This comment made me think about our (the lovely Wayne & I) relationship and why it is the way it is.
One of the first things that came to mind is that being a gay couple with no children we haven't had to share each other's time with anyone else or be completely responsible for anyone other than us. This has meant that we have been able to pay each other more attention and do stuff together (that said, we'd have traded it in a minute to be able to have children). I must admit though, that having all that time and attention for each other did lead to taking each other for granted from time to time because we knew that we were each there.
As we're getting older, our relationship has evolved and I think it's stronger than it's ever been. In recent years our work schedules have changed and we rarely have days off together unless one of us takes leave. After many years of being together whenever we wanted, we've ended up having very little time so we make that time count. I also understand the stresses placed on parents and why at times husbands, wives and partners take a back seat to the rest of the family due to those responsibilities (your children will thank you when they're adults). I'm amazed and in awe on a daily basis by parents and how you all just do it - you are all awesome. I guess we'll get our turn soon enough as we both have parents who aren't getting any younger and their welfare is now becoming more of a priority in our lives.
Anyhoo back to Emily's comment. We all take people in our lives for granted from time to time, but the simple act of acknowledging it means that you indeed aren't necessarily doing it as bad as you think. And remember peeps, a simple hug speaks volumes!
This time last year I reflected on 2011 by way of a meme - an idea that I
copied from one of my favourite bloggers, Elizabeth of Scarlet Words (you can
read about Elizabeth’s 2012 here).I’m completing
the meme again this year as it’s such a great way to reflect on the year that
was.Again, thanks to Elizabeth for
sharing this brilliant idea and encouraging others to join in.
Okay, let’s get started…
1. What did you do in 2012 that you’d never done before?
I’ve always loved photography but haven’t really done a lot of it other than
happy snaps.During 2012 I started
participating in photographic challenges (mainly those by Chantelle of Fat Mum Slim) and started taking lots of photos with my iPhone and then editing them
using the myriad Apps that are available.I’ve loved it – the composition, the subjects and the editing.
2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next
year?
Mostly yes.My intentions were to be
fitter, healthier and lighter, and to blog more.They all get a tick.For 2013, it will be more of the same as I
want to improve on all these things again as well as take lots of photos!
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Yes.Two very dear friends welcomed daughter
number two in April.I wrote about
gorgeous little Marlo here.
4. Did anyone close to you die?
Thankfully no.
5. What countries did you visit?
Australia!Does that really count?We did have a wonderful week in a beach-front
house on the New South Wales north coast – it was just what we both needed at
the time.
6. What would you like to have in 2013 that you lacked in 2012?
More ‘us time’.The lovely Wayne and
I still battle with conflicting work schedules so I’d like more time together
to just hang out.Simple things like
picnics, lazy afternoons, cooking, walks, movies – you get the idea.
7. What dates from 2012 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
There’s the usuals (birthdays, anniversary, holiday up the coast) however
2012 had a few ‘biggies’.There was my
promotion and my recognition at work (see Q8 below), but the one that I guess
really rocked me to my core was my dad’s diagnosis in July with a brain tumour.Although it has affected me and made me
rethink a lot of things, we were extremely fortunate that there was a
wonderfully positive outcome in the end and my dear dad is now absolutely
fine.I blogged here about how thankful
I was for the way this whole episode played out.
My dad, and the scar down the back of his head
which means he'll be around for a long time yet!
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
My biggest achievements (yes there’s 2) this year were my promotion in
August, and being awarded a prestigious award in December for my contribution
to the organisation where I work.You
can read about my award here.
9. What was your biggest failure?
Not ‘switching off’ when I left work.I had a tendency to still be ‘thinking work’ even at home – I was known
to leave myself voicemail messages at work at 3am on occasion!I am slowly learning to switch off - I guess
I’m a slow learner!LOL.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Aside from a slight back strain during our recent house move, I consider
myself very lucky to have enjoyed good health during 2012.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
Probably my new laptop (the old one died) – well let’s face it, how on earth
could I blog, etc without it?!
12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?
The lovely Wayne (aka The Boy Wonder!).As mentioned in Q7,
my dad needed urgent brain surgery during the year.The lovely Wayne was just so wonderfully
supportive at a time when all of us were really feeling scared, worried and
upset.Thanks babe. xx
The lovely Wayne (aka The Boy Wonder)
13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?
Three come to mind.Those awful radio
announcers who played that joke on that poor English nurse; Alan Jones for his
vile comments about PM Julia Gillard’s father’s death; and the gunman who shot
those innocent children in the USA leading up to Christmas.Some people really are just oxygen thieves!
14. Where did most of your money go?
The usual stuff – household expenses, food, etc.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Our holiday in September.Our week of
staying in a beach-front house was wonderfully relaxing and we had been looking
forward to it for months.
16. What song will always remind you of 2012?
Dare I mention it?Dare I let it rear
its ugly head again?I’m talking of Gangnam
Style of course.Yes I liked it
initially, but then it became a little tiresome.It is however the first tune I thought of
when reading this question, so I guess it’s the one for 2012!I won’t embed it here as I think we all know
how it goes!
17. Compared to this time last year, are you: (a) happier or sadder? (b)
thinner or fatter? (c) richer or poorer?
a) Happier (still happy!)
b) Slightly thinner
c) About the same
18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Relaxing, photography, reading, and spending time with the lovely Wayne.
19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Placing unrealistic expectations on myself and my time.
20. How did you spend Christmas?
Christmas was a quiet affair for us this year.It all started on Christmas Eve with us again
adhering to our tradition of watching Love Actually (I so love that
movie).Christmas Day started with a
lovely breakfast for two at home – think poached eggs, smoked salmon,
mushrooms, tomatoes and good coffee.For
lunch we popped up to the nursing home and spent time with the lovely Wayne’s
mum.Later in the afternoon, we made our
way out to my mum and dad’s place.Here
we had a lovely casual evening with great food and lots of laughs. As an aside, I had a bit of fun with the Elf Yourself iPhone App (thanks Elizabeth), so here's the lovely Wayne, our friend Tracy, and me...
21. Did you fall in love in 2012?
I stayed in love!
22. What was your favourite TV program?
In keeping with last year’s British TV theme, we have again loved
predominantly British shows.We NEVER
miss Alan Carr Chatty Man – that man and his show are an absolute scream, you
really need to check it (them) out.There were also the usual suspects of QI, Graham Norton, Grand Designs
and Top Gear.A notable mention must
also go to the Australian series Miss Fisher’s Murder Mysteries which we
thoroughly enjoyed.
23. What was the best book you read?
I haven’t read any books of note this year as most of my reading consisted
of reading lots of amazing blogs.I did
however enjoy a couple of coffee table books I picked up during the year - Wine
Dogs Australia and Why Dogs are better than Cats are both entertaining and
contain gorgeous photos.
24. What was your greatest musical discovery?
There’s been several again this year including Lana Del Ray and Paloma Faith.The one that stands out though is Of Monsters
And Men.This Icelandic group made an
appearance on The Graham Norton Show and I just loved them.I’ve already mentioned Lana here, so
here’s a little something by Paloma and OMAM...
25. What did you want and get?
I wanted my dad to get good news after his brain surgery – it was the best
news as he got the all clear and recovered completely.I also wanted to get the job I’d acted in for
18 months, and I did!I was finally
promoted permanently to the position in August.
26. What did you want and not get?
Again, marriage equality.Oh alright,
and the winning lotto numbers!
27. What was your favourite film of the year?
Sadly this year we made it to the movies just once – one of the pitfalls of
our lack of time together as we’d rather have a quiet night in!Anyhoo the movie – we loved The Iron Lady
with Meryl Streep.We did however watch
a number of great DVD’s during the year.
28. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 46 years young on my birthday!You can read all about my birthday here.Suffice to say it involved a gourmet breakfast, lots of seafood,
champagne, wine, ice cream, blood-letting, and a washing machine!
29. What one thing made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Sharing it with the lovely Wayne, friends and family.
30. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2012?
Corporate and casual – not at the same time though!I also had a bit of a ‘thing’ going on with
glasses (spectacles) this year – I bought four new pairs during the year.
31. What kept you sane?
The lovely Wayne of course, and keeping a good sense of humour at all times.
Oh yes, and wine!
This guy kept me sane (or is that insane?) during 2012
32. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
No one person comes to mind actually.
33. What political issue stirred you the most?
It’s the same as last year.Australia’s appalling policies and indecision regarding asylum seekers
and marriage equality.It amazes me that
we are so behind the times with these two issues when we are leaders in so many
other areas.
34. Who did you miss?
I miss my regular catch-ups with a dear friend Tracy in England but we’ve
undertaken to have regular (& possibly long) skype sessions this year.I’ve also missed two very dear friends at
work who have both been on long term leave during the year.Luckily for me they are both back during
January.
35. Who was the best new person you met?
Again this year there’s been a number of new people who I’ve met.Some have been through work, some through
other friends, and then there’s the online friends I’ve made this year through
blogs and social media.The stand out
though would be a former colleague, and now great friend, Kerry.We just kinda clicked.
36. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2012.
Cherish those you care about – tell them you love them often and give them
hugs often too!
37. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
Motivation a powerful strength
Hesitation was my first instinct
I got the notion my weakness was
Total devotion it’s okay because
I will hold back tears
So I can move in the right direction
I have faced my fears
Now I can move in the right direction
Move in the right direction – Beth Ditto & Gossip
So there you have it dear reader, my 2012 year in review.I’d love to read your 2012 in review so
please feel free to leave your answers (or a link to them) in the comments if you
feel so inclined.
A few weeks ago I mentioned a routine visit to my doctor and
how he wanted me to have all manner of tests undertaken (except a pregnancy test!) and would like me to lose some weight. This week I had my follow-up visit with Doctor P to find out the results. I have to say that I left feeling pretty darn pleased with myself, even if I had been a little nervous about obtaining the results. It appears that although I could lose some weight, I am in fact the picture of good health - those were the good Doctor's exact words! And to top that off, I've now lost 5 kilograms in 4 weeks! So what does one do? Goes out for dinner to celebrate of course undo all the good work! I may have indulged in a rather decadent dessert and a decent quantity of wine too!
This got me thinking that my bodily organs are actually in okay condition. On many occasions I've said to His Handsomeness that I wish to be an organ donor. I've always added that as I wear glasses, drink, don't always eat completely healthy etc, that should the donor decision need to be made, there probably wouldn't be much that could be donated anyway. Like I said, this has made me re-think this. The result is that I'm keener than ever to be an organ donor now because I may actually have something recyclable.
Australia has a national organ donor register which you can read about here. Note that I'm not trying to recruit, just sharing my new found awareness. I know that this is after all, a very personal choice.
How do you feel about organ donation? Feel free to share your thoughts on the subject of organ donation. No judgements will be made, I'm just curious (ok, maybe a bit nosey too!).
Today is Day Fourteen of the November Photo A
Day Challenge and it's also my birthday! The prompt for today is Man made (You can read
here about my self
imposed twist to this month's challenge).
Let me get to the photo first then I'll fill you in on my birthday. Today's diptych composition consists of a large wall clock which I bought from a fabbo little boutique in Leura in the Blue Mountains, and a chocolate bouquet. Both are man made and both are loved by yours truly!
Okay enough about the photos, lets talk about my birthday (coz it's all about me today, right?!). Lets start at the beginning. A few weeks ago I mentioned a routine visit to my doctor and how he wanted me to have all manner of tests undertaken. Well due to my procrastination with the barrage of blood tests, I needed to have them done TODAY, my birthday! So this morning we (yes I made the lovely Wayne accompany me) toddled off to the pathologist so they could take what seemed like 90% of the blood out of my body - happy bloody birthday! At least the pathology nurse wished me happy birthday. Speaking of said nurse, it turns out that we worked together 25 years ago so had a great little catch-up chat whilst I was drained of almost all my blood (I am sooo not a drama queen).
Following this, the lovely Wayne took me out for breakfast to a fave cafe with gorgeous lake views not far from home. Whilst there, the cafe proprietor advised us that it was the cafe's first birthday today and as such, all patrons could have a free slice of celebratory birthday cake, so we did! What made this extra special was that unbeknownst to me, the lovely Wayne had advised the proprietor that it was also my birthday. My slice of cake arrived with a candle on it ;-)
We didn't do lunch as we were both still too full from our breakfast grazing. Dinner however necessitated food, and of course wine. As a starter we enjoyed large juicy pacific ocean oysters naturale with a glass or two of champagne. This was followed by a large amount of king prawns enjoyed with a bottle of Sauvignon Blanc. The evening feast concluded with a serve of cookies and cream ice cream - yummmm.
Presents. Yes I know that's what you really want to know about. Let me just say CD's, clothes, champagne, chocolates and a washing machine! Yes, a washing machine. No, the lovely Wayne isn't an unromantic man, it was all about timing. A new washing machine was required and just happened to be purchased on my birthday!
As I sit here this evening enjoying (another) glass of wine, I'm very thankful that I've again had a wonderful birthday and have received lots of wonderful birthday wishes from lots of lovely people. Thank you.
Today is Day Eight of the November Photo A Day Challenge - the prompt for which is Something you do everyday (Read here about my self
imposed twist to this month's challenge).
As I've mentioned previously, I'm currently undertaking the Weight Watchers 13 week program to create a healthier me. As part of that, I fill out what is known as a points tracker - it's a kind of food diary. This has been quite an eye-opener. Go on give it a go and keep a diary of everything that passes your lips for a week - I guarantee you'll be surprised. Anyhoo, I digress. Back to today's diptych composition. It's a shot of a page out of my points tracker and part of the front cover. I'm currently filling this out religiously every day.
Something that struck me today (weigh-in day) is that there's now one day a week when I want to be a loser! Who would have thought?! FYI, I've now lost 3.5kg and I'm only 2 weeks in! I'm a loser and I'm loving it!
Note that I may or may not have indulged in a glass of wine this evening to celebrate being a loser!
Yesterday I posted about the in-yo-face reality that I'm fat and old....LOL (you can read about that eye-opening experience here). Over night I've decided that it was indeed the kick in the proverbial that I needed and as such, it has spurred me into action (well as much action as a chunky gay man can muster whilst maintaining an air of fabulousness!).
Let me explain. I'm fortunate enough to work for a fabbo employer who has a wellbeing program for staff. In my specific location, one initiative that has been pioneered is the Weight Watchers at work program. Now although my employer doesn't pay for this, they are fully supportive by allowing such programs access to our staff and staff access to this potentially life changing program. Soooo, today I've paid my money and joined up for a 13 week program. All of which is accessed in my workplace during my lunch break (the weekly meetings are even held on the same floor that I work on!).
Normally one wouldn't wish to share such personal insights however I've done this so that I'm publicly accountable - ie, motivated to not look like a procrastinating idiot! Now I'm not going to turn this blog into some sort of weight loss diary, however I may from time to time share snippets of my journey. Note that I'm not attempting this weight loss for aesthetic body image purposes, this is being done from a personal health point of view (this is how I'm justifying my reduced wine intake to myself!).
Now I do have all the Weight Watchers literature, however if you have any gems, hints or tips, please, please share them in comments below! My future less-chunky-healthy-self will be grateful!
Today I had an interesting experience during a routine visit to my doctor. Some would even say confronting, although the reality is that it was in fact just a reality check. Don't panic, it's all good! Ok, I'm getting ahead of myself.
Every 6 months (ish) I have a routine check-up with my doctor - today was that day. All was good, well until I popped onto the scales. Now I will admit that I (and the lovely Wayne) have been slowly but surely gaining an extra pound here and there, and the occasional item of clothing has started to fit somewhat snugger (is that even a word?), but I wasn't prepared for what my dear doctor said. He informed me (what I knew deep down) that I needed to lose some weight. I guess the thing that surprised me was how much weight he suggested I lose. At a minimum, 12 kilograms and a maximum of 20 kilograms! I was thinking maybe 5 kilograms. I guess that's why he's a doctor and I'm not - LOL.
Now I know that this isn't life and death kinda stuff, but it was the following conversation that gave me a rude awakening. Doctor P checked my chart and announced that I am almost 46 (this is true) and that I'm at THAT AGE where it would be prudent to test me for every damn thing known to man! Now I'm not afraid to admit (like most men) that I don't exactly embrace the idea of needles and the like, but seriously, I'm sure the only test I'm not having in coming weeks is a pregnancy test!
Anyhoo, I know that this is all sensible stuff to do, I just feel that I'm still far too young and vibrant to be bothering with such matters. I mean to say, it's not like I'm as old as the lovely Wayne (love ya babe) - LOL. So there you have my upcoming challenge - to lose weight over the coming months that encompass both my birthday and Christmas - heaven forbid I'll have to curb my wine intake.
Have you had an experience that has made you realise your actual age? I'd love to hear about it, so feel free to leave a comment - it'll just be between the 2 of us ok!
I'll preface this post by saying that I'm not seeking sympathy or the like - I'm just sharing what is whirling around in my thoughts at the moment. I've been mulling this post over in my head for over a week now as I wasn't completely sure what I wanted to say or even whether to say anything at all. As you can tell, I've decided to put pen to paper, or rather fingers to keyboard!
This coming weekend there is a school reunion happening for my year from school - it is 30 years since year 10. I've been contacted by a few people to invite me along and ask if I was going to attend and therein lies the dilemma. You see, I've been struggling with the decision of whether to attend or not. Now I know this is not exactly a 'life decision' but I've still struggled with it. I guess I should provide some context.
I'm a passionate advocate for anti-bullying laws in schools and society in general and this isn't just because I'm a gay man who has witnessed bullying. I've been bullied - as a teenager it was relentless. Now I'm not going to go into specifics or name and shame, but on a daily basis throughout my high school years I was bullied physically, mentally and emotionally to the point where it affected my grades, my self esteem and my self confidence. I'll confess that I considered suicide on a number of occasions. What's that saying? - "Your school years are the best years of your life" - pffft. I never, ever want to relive that time of my life. I got through it though because I had the most wonderful group of friends, some of whom were also experiencing the horrors of bullying first hand too. I haven't mentioned my family as part of this story because I never let on at home - I was too ashamed and embarrassed. In hindsight, that was ridiculous!
Has all this shaped the person I am today? Most definitely. Some of it good, some not so. I think it's made me a champion of the underdog, sympathetic, empathetic and passionate about certain causes. It's also made me lack self esteem and self confidence as an adult and has caused hideous bouts of depression at times. As for now, I'm finally coming out of that place. I have a wonderful partner of 23 years who has shown me that it doesn't matter and that I can succeed. I'm proud of the fact that I've been anti-depressant free for a number of years now and I gain self esteem and confidence on a daily basis - I'm in a good place and I think it's evident to those that know me.
Anyhoo, back to the indecision. The voyeuristic part of me wants to go to the reunion to check them all out, the moved-on part of me feels that I already keep in touch with the people from school that I wish to keep in touch with, and then of course there's the scared little teenager!
And all that, dear reader, is the reasoning for my indecision on this matter.
So what did I decide to do? I'm not attending the reunion. Does this mean that the collective 'they' have won out? Does it mean I've moved on and these people cease to be a consideration in my life? Or is there still a bullied, hurt and scared teenager lurking just a little too close to the surface for comfort? Perhaps it's a bit of all three!
Wow, this has been quite cathartic as I've never shared these thoughts and emotions with anyone other than the lovely Wayne and now here I am putting it out there on the WWW. Hmmm, that's me, all or nothing!!
What would you do? Would you go to your school reunion? Or have you been already? Feel free to share your reunion thoughts and experiences below in comments.
I'm currently quiet as I'm not adding too much content to the blog at the moment. This is because I will be moving the blog to a new location and making a few tweaks in a few weeks time - this is one of the things I will be tackling when I have holidays in September. More about that once the move is complete and I resume normal transmissions.
Lastly, I thought I should give an update on my dear dad. His recovery is nothing short of miraculous as he is more or less back to his usual self, which is pretty amazing considering he had brain surgery 4 weeks ago! In a word, he's fantastic!
So there you have it, a quick update on the goings on around here. What's happening with you?
Apologies up front if this post seems a bit ‘deep’ or
upsetting but I wanted to share why I’m incredibly thankful tonight as I sit
here writing this.Note that I am in a
good ‘place’ and am not seeking sympathy or the like.There will even be a celebratory drink (or 3)
tonight!I guess I just want to ‘download’
and as I said, share why I’m thankful.
I’m thankful that I live in this fabulously modern country
where urgent and up-to-the-minute medical treatments are available and
accessible.I’m thankful that in less
than a fortnight, my dad was diagnosed with a brain tumour, had surgery to
remove it, was then advised it was benign, and was given a clean bill of health.I’m thankful that he is a very fit and
healthy man who is already home and is recovering quickly.I’m thankful that we can still give each
other a good ribbing and that throughout the ups and downs of the last
fortnight we kept a sense of humour.I’m
thankful for having a wonderful mum, sister, brother-in-law and how we form an
amazing team when needed.I’m thankful
for my friends who have sat and listened when I needed to talk.And lastly, I’m thankful for the lovely Wayne
– the rock I have leaned on (heavily at times) this past fortnight as I (&
he) supported my wonderful family.
Like I said at the start of this post, I’m actually quite
happy and up beat as we’ve come through this last fortnight with a great
outcome.And I do have to confess that
as is the way in our family, we always try to maintain a sense of humour no
matter what.I mean there’s already
jokes and jibes happening amongst us all about this whole experience – I guess
that’s our coping mechanism!
What are you thankful for? And what coping mechanisms do you use in times of crisis?
In my last post where I showed my month in photos as part of the Photo A Day Challenge, I did say that I was looking forward to participating in the July challenge. Well I did have the best of intentions to do so however a combination of things has put paid to that. Firstly, I've been quite the social butterfly as it was our anniversary last week and the lovely Wayne's birthday this week. Secondly, I've been flat out doing long days at work. And thirdly, I've been a slacker! The result is that I have managed just one photo as part of the challenge so have decided that I'll take the month off from photo challenges! These same three reasons (oh ok, excuses!) are why I haven't posted either.
Anniversary
Like I said above, last week the lovely Wayne and I celebrated our anniversary. It was our 23rd anniversary. We celebrated with dinner out at a fave little Italian Restaurant followed by hot chocolates and decadent desserts at a specialty chocolate cafe. It was a great evening and I may or may not have had one glass too many of red wine! I do love it when the lovely Wayne volunteers to be the 'skipper' (ie, designated driver). I also received a lovely card and flowers too! I guess I'll keep him!
The card I received from the lovely Wayne
This years anniversary was actually a bit of a milestone anniversary for me. You see, the lovely Wayne and I have been together since I was 22 years old and as this was our 23rd anniversary, it meant that I've now spent more of my life with him than without him - pretty amazing really. As I'm technically a toy-boy, it's still a few years before the lovely Wayne experiences this kind of milestone!
How long have you and your beloved been together? And what special thing do you do to mark the occasion?
Yes I know I'm posting this a day late but I simply didn't get around to it yesterday. Anyhoo, the theme for yesterday was out and about. Now I was out and about yesterday doing all manner of exciting things such as running errands and grocery shopping (see, I told you my life's excitement knows no bounds)! I therefore indulged in two of my favourite passtimes (not!) - navigating the dreaded shopping centre carpark hunting for a park, and fighting with a shopping trolley up and down the supermarket aisles. With my patience spent, my photo was snapped as I made my way back to the car for the quick drive back to the sanctuary of home. Here you have out and about in the shopping centre carpark!
Today's photo prompt was six o'clock. This was an easy one as I usually have my alarm set for 6.00am each day. The only concern was that I would roll over and hit the snooze button like I do most mornings and then miss the photo opportunity. Surprisingly, I woke up and grabbed my phone and took a screen shot, then of course I hit the snooze button - LOL.
Anyhoo here's my photo for today, a screen shot of my iPhone at 6.00am this morning!
